Never Eaten A Donut–EVER!

DANG. I just moved.

2010-09-12T21:25:00.000-07:00

Across the country! Just made the big move, from LA to NYC. WHOA! DANG! Snap. Bit of a culture shock at first but love it already and can't imagine not being here.

I'll play blog catchup after I get all settled.

Is Kimora Lee Simmons Smarter Than A Pastry?

2010-07-22T18:18:00.001-07:00

I don't think so. And people ask her all kinds of questions, like what color babyphat shirt do I wear with my weave? and are you actually a robot? Which is why I'm starting my Thursday Q and A sessions with...a donut. Yes. It's all about branding. Today's q and a here:

Donut speaks on love.

C'est n'est-ce pas un Blog

2010-07-19T11:58:00.000-07:00

Thanks to modern technology, I found this awesome french illustration/art/design blog who put my self promo up on their site. Bien sur, merci!

Other illustrators featured on the site, like Morgan Blair, and Alejandro Giraldo, are super amazing too. Check it out!

http://www.geekiz.com/

It's Never Too Late To Say I Love You

2010-07-13T13:31:00.000-07:00

Some Valentine's Day sketches that didn't get up in time....for this year.....

Barry's always a romantic:

Always be able to love yourself first though. And if you can't, then make sure your lawyer will put your name first in the song credits.

Hell Froze Over Last Night...But Don't Worry It'll Burn Off With The Marine Layer

2010-07-02T10:44:00.000-07:00

April started a blawg. Huuuuuuuh?

http://timetogoapeshit.blogspot.com/

mmm...Cool, Minty Bliss and Westerny Medicine

2010-07-01T16:25:00.001-07:00

Vampires are all the rage now. Teens, Twilight, the Eclipse saga, feeling left out and smoking crack are in. If Dr. Quinn were still alive**, she'd slap a biatch, make her daughter take off that blasted Team Jacob tee, and go to medicine school like a good adopted pioneer daughter.

Did someone say Dr. Quinn? Funny you should ask. Her medicine town is still alive, in the magical land of Paramount Ranch.

sketch I made from the ranch. (or my own beach cruiser, take your pic)

** The Jane Seymour robot is still alive as well, starring in many new Lifetime films and designing jewelry with subliminal messages for QVC.

Don't Blame the Couture (...or the Mormons)

2010-06-25T12:39:00.000-07:00

some shots of Ni$e's rise to fame (taken on Main St Santa Monica...VIPs only, sarray!)

The Great Cognitive Surplus

2010-06-04T15:23:00.000-07:00

It's been too long. Back to the drawing board for me!

Maurice: Self Titled

Gotta love these guys. Always bringing me up when I'm feeling down.

Photo o' the day HOLLA (my building hallway)

2010-03-31T23:32:00.001-07:00

Daily Photo Starts Tonight

2010-03-29T21:26:00.000-07:00

How can a daily item start at night, and not in the day, as its name suggests? I don't know. Here's number one:

Location: rooftop of 610 South Main Street

Shake N Bake, And I Helped!

2010-03-25T00:30:00.000-07:00

I donated some of my Barry Gibb letterpress pieces to a friend of a friend's benefit auction, mentioned here:

http://www.vcreporter.com/cms/story/detail/a_little_help_from_his_friends/7744/

The auction ended up raising $11,000. Sweet!

You Had Me At Hello: A Study in Portraits (of Robin)

2010-03-07T23:41:00.000-08:00

This is how it's done, folks. There will be a quiz at the end of the blog.

What's More Important?

2010-03-07T21:58:00.000-08:00

Not-so-new letterpress piece that I just got around to uploading, inspired by my memories of Texas:

Big Lake. Little Sea.

2010-02-28T19:55:00.000-08:00

The Salton Sea is the largest lake in California, yet no one seems to have heard of it. One of the adjacent towns was flooded and laid to waste several years ago....and strangely never cleaned up. Some photos I took from a recent trip there (more up on Flickr):

Current Events .... When Art Imitates Life

2010-01-14T17:56:00.000-08:00

Heard about those kids in Gloucester, MASS right? The gals that banded together to have babies? Law and Order did a special on it. So did Lifetime TV. Now Barry's jumped on the band wagon as well.

sponsors include Christian Dior, PETA, Walmart, and...teenage girls everywhere. Use birth control!

And A Happy Holidays to You, Good Sir

2009-12-21T09:30:00.000-08:00

Don't be so modest, Bar! YES it's for you!

Who wouldn't want this on their tree...

Post-modern Robin as Snowman:

As per usual, Maurice puts on a festive front and hides his true feelings:

Robin speaks out...

You Look Friendless. Buy A Cat!! Or Else!!!

2009-10-06T17:39:00.001-07:00

You heard the man. Buy a cat.

Whoever Said All Western Food Was Bland Never Tried This

2009-08-18T16:25:00.000-07:00

Amanda Blank cd starring Robin Gibb:

Now Tell Me What You See

2009-08-10T17:57:00.000-07:00

Extinct Art Forms Can Be Fun!

2009-08-06T11:01:00.000-07:00

Letterpress stationary...type set by hand, printed on a Chandler & Price; linoleum cut printed on a Vandercook press, at the Armory Center for the Arts in Pasadena, California. This was my virgin experience with letterpress and it was time consuming but the end result is nice and worth it.

If Life Were A Malcolm Gladwell Novel, We'd All Be Playing Ice Hockey

2009-08-04T16:08:00.001-07:00

Is it just me, or do my drawings get exponentially better each time? Some quality time with Robin today. Just hang out with him. Get to know him.

Starring: Robin Gibb Co-Starring: Goat medallion (no Druid priests were harmed in the making of these drawings)

Robin, relaxing.

Tastes like revolution...or is that just my gum?

2009-07-23T17:31:00.001-07:00

'I'm a woman's man, no time to talk.' If I was a dude, this would be my mantra. And I would have hair like Barry's.. and I'd have too many girls.

Up next, I hope you'll enjoy a song by Barry Gibb

2009-07-17T16:23:00.000-07:00

The Mountain Man's Three Wolf Moon Shirt: a modern take.

Eagle shaped chairs add a little edge to your look.

Maurice always asking the tough questions.

Barry asks the other tough questions.

and sometimes he just is.

Your Wildest Dreams Can Come True...

2009-07-15T17:23:00.000-07:00

Oh yes, they can. Open your ears and hearts and let in the sweet sounds of falsetto. Don't let yourself be overwhelmed by the sexual edge and prowess of the Gibbs. It happens.

Maurice is the realistic brother.

Classic Barry, onstage, living the dream!

Maurice looking pensive.

Random Barrys.

Cold hands, warm heart. Big hair and beard, big...heart?

My Hair Is Making My Head Too Hot

2009-07-13T17:45:00.000-07:00

Barry(s) o' the day

2009-07-10T15:31:00.001-07:00

Self-explanatory. Power of the beard and medallion. Written by Barry. Produced by Barry.

He was a lyricist.

Beard/body shot.

Fancy hair.

B/C it's the newest trend, like, for realz? Get with it!

2009-07-09T17:17:00.000-07:00

Today marked the start of my own personal newest trend. I'm going to draw Barry Gibb, frontman of the Bee Gees, every day. For the next month. A quick couple-minute portrait with a sharpie. And maybe I'll draw his brothers too if I'm feeling nice.

Today's effort here:

Love ya Bar! Today's song: "You Should Be Dancing."

More Barry (a little more detailed and also one in which he resembles Santa....):

Robin and Maurice (the twins!)

Really, I Want To Know

2009-05-21T17:38:00.001-07:00

I saw Star Trek last night. Don't ask me why.
My question is:

Why do the bad guys space ships in movies always look like poisonous spiders with lots of extra legs, and the good guys ships resemble high-end vibrators?

Who decides this kind of stuff? The comic book kids living in basements? I mean, wouldn't the good guys want a bad ass looking ship to cruise around in?

In Which My (40-something/surfer/dad/wilco-fan) Creative Director is More Fashionable than Me.

2009-05-21T17:18:00.000-07:00

This is the part of my life in which I learn that not only are my old clothes not cool or worth the $4 they pay you at Wasteland to resell them, but that my boss is MORE STYLISH THAN ME by westside hipster standards. I think I've had that sales girl look at me before, judging me. In the lunch line in 2nd grade when I picked orange drink instead of milk. And you know what? We weren't friends then either. The only thing that she bought from me was an XL animal collective T shirt that my boss gave me because he didn't like it. And I was selling it because I didn't like it. (Why are AC's t shirts always so bad....)

I'm out. I am leaving the runway. I'm going to quit being a designer and make rebuses for the rest of my life.

Why Don't You Just Sit On The Couch And Eat All The Chips

2009-05-16T01:57:00.000-07:00

2009 is fantastic. I keep buying new music and getting new music from other people who've bought it. I can't stop listening. How does it make me feel? It makes me feel good. Not just good. Great. Like the women in the yogurt commercial at the wedding talking about how great it is to be women, because they're eating yogurt together and aren't married. I realize I've become addicted to certain music bloggers archive lists. Sometimes I find myself looking forward to Thursdays just so I can listen to gorilla vs. bear. I'm upset if I get to work and I miss parts of the blog. It's like a sickness. I'm like those people who need a twelve step program. Maybe I need to stop. But I just can't. I don't want to. Kind of like I don't want to stop drinking coffee, or wine.

Favorite things I've gotten recently:
Akron/Family - Set 'em wild, set 'em free
Junior Boys - Begone Dull Care
St Vincent - Actor
The Woods
Bonnie Prince Billie - Beware
Handsome Furs
Here We Go Magic
Dan Auerbach
Ariel Pink
Vega
Salem

and new Grizzly Bear, Deerhunter, and the National will be out soon.
And if someone could tell me where I could buy Neon Indian that would be great.

Where was all this awesome fucking music last year???

Please Sir, Can I Have Some More?

2009-05-16T01:16:00.001-07:00

Let The Right One In.
There's something really refreshing about being able to say "My favorite part of the movie was the pool scene with the dismembered hand floating in the water." Little-ish kids en film don't bug me when they're growling and changing adults into vampires. Rad.
Sweden=Rad.
Vampire Kids=Rad (unless you're a teenage single mom! use Birth Control for
best results.
Snowfalling Scene=Rad (i don't gotta shovel that shiz)

This Just In: I'm Evil

2009-03-10T14:52:00.000-07:00

Apparently.
What do you do when two of the most evil friends you have (who may also happen to be two of the most evil people you know in general) inform you that you, yourself, are evil (according to their not-so-humble opinions)?
If you know the answer to this, let me know.
In the meantime I'll be in my fortress of darkness.

I. Heart. Boy. (and sweet dance jam tracks)

2009-02-27T11:35:00.000-08:00

100 days, 100 dances, 100 locations....etc.

BOOMBOX from Ely Kim on Vimeo.

I really like number 21 for the technique, but number 47 is my favorite for presentation.

Lobotomies: Fashionably in, or just Plain Fashionable??

2009-01-16T16:36:00.000-08:00

The Samuels Advertising company espresso machine underwent surgery. Please send flowers to 1638 Wilcox Ave, Hollywood, care of Kristen.

The machine is now on a strict prescription of Intelligentsia Black Cat Espresso Blend.

Residual Anger...Doesn't Mix Well With Salmon

2009-01-11T21:41:00.000-08:00

What is my damage?

2009 you're all mine--NEW YEARS REZZzzz.

2009-01-05T23:36:00.000-08:00

I promised Jane one of my new year's resolutions would be writing more and upkeeping my blog. Take my aggression out here instead of sending incredibly long emails to people who don't deserve them anyway...sigh.

I got a couple resolutions for 09, yes I do.

1. BE NICE (r). Try not telling people to rot in hell. Status: resolution kept! Bam. 1 for 1. I'm a better person already. Fab. Learn from me.

2. Train for half marathon. Status: if you count sitting in traffic, drinking coffee and unpacking "training" then ..resolution kept! 2 for 2.

3. Upkeep my blog. Status: doing it right now. Bitch you crazy! 3 for 3.

4. Naming things that I'm doing as resolutions to make myself look productive....Status...Yeeeees. 4 for 4.

5. Redo my website so it's more functional. Ah. Damn. I'm being distracted by my blog!!! 4 - 5.

6. Upgrade my laptop with more RAM. guh. What's ram? Confound your RAM, toll troll! 4 - 6.

7. Get a new job. Ongoing. 4 - 7...so far.

8. Finish unpacking AND go through stuff. Kind of doing this. About halfway to three quarters done. 4.5 - 8.

9. Publish book. That I wrote. This could happen! Maybe. 4.65 - 9.

10. Be happy with all aspects of my life -- job, where I live, eyebrows, etc. This is the ongoing resolution. Stop doing things and going places that don't make me happy just to please other people. Do things that I want that will improve my life. If that stupid girl on The City can walk AND talk at the same time, I think anything is humanly possible. We should all learn from me. I'm already almost halfway to my new years resolutions! At the rate I'm going my year could be over in a few weeks.

So...you're a graphic designer, right?

2008-09-04T11:49:00.000-07:00

I hate this question more than any other question, especially when it's being posed to me by a friend of a friend. Invariably, what follows is an inane question about some sort of fine art that I know next to nothing about (glassblowing perhaps), or else, and this is usually the case, a very very SHITTY "job offer" disguised as a favor to me.

"You mean, you'll let ME do your logo for you? For $20? No, I couldn't accept that much for such an amazing opportunity. How about we make it 15....Pesos."

"Oh, you have a crappy idea for some t-shirts you'd like to do, and you just need 5 different ideas drawn up? And you thought of me? Yeah, ideas are totally free! And so is executing these ideas! I mean, they're just t shirts right? Of course I'll do it in my spare time....tonight....by 5:30 EST. I'm honored that you would let me in on this project that you're getting paid for and let me work for nothing."

"A website for you? Sure! We've known each other about a month. Programming other people's stupid black and white photographs into a portfolio site for $1 an hour is what I was put on this planet for. "

Just because we happen to like our jobs-unlike you stuck at your cubicle or your awful 9-5 accounting job-DOES NOT MEAN WE WORK FOR NOTHING. For all of you out there who think that graphic designers should be happy to be your bitches, I have something completely fucking free for you: unwanted advice.

If you want to pay nothing, you will get shit. Hire a blind monkey (I hear they're cheap!), or get one of those logo-generating websites to do your job for you. Immigrants. Sweat shops. Babies. Senior citizens. You have endless possibilities for your stinginess.

Stop trying to take advantage of artists. You waste my time, and heaven knows I need every minute to finish up that free web template I'm doing for my friend's uncle's son.

Absolute Perfection

2008-06-26T10:39:00.000-07:00

Well, I happened to find myself at a yachting party last weekend. And I wondered, what's with all these drunk dudes dressed like sea captains and ambiguously gay sailors? Then my pal Mickey introduced me to the best thing on youtube.

Yacht Rock

Onesie Lies....what's your damage, American Apparel????

2008-04-28T11:47:00.000-07:00

It's a free country. I can do whatever I want.

Can't I???? We are in America, right? Because last time I checked, my rights were being infringed upon.

By American Apparel.
HOW CAN YOU ADVERTISE ONESIEs ALL OVER YOUR FREAKIN WEBSITE, AND NOT HAVE ANY IN THE ACTUAL STORES????

Hello, McFly. Do I live in LA? Or has this all been a dream and I'm actually in Wisconsin?

This interesting onesie dilemma was brought up to me by Suzanne. Who suggested that perhaps everyone in Los Angeles should be wearing onesies regularly, on a daily basis. Isn't that the point of SoCal? To be tan and scantily clad?

That's what I thought. Then I tried to actually go into a physical AA store this weekend (tried 3 different ones...Hollywood and the west side). Foiled.

Lies. False promises. Everyone should be able to get a one piece velour tube top jumper, with no hassle. What kind of plastic sunny world do we live in here. For real.

Strange Narnia Woman finds Supersized Hand in Local Art School Yard...Asks 'Can I Keep It?'

2008-03-31T15:59:00.001-07:00

Anyhow she looks happy. Just let her keep the hand.

Hope You Don't Mind If I Pay You in Change

2008-03-28T13:13:00.000-07:00

After going on brief hiatus to tend to my chinchilla farm and teach hangliding lessons to orphans, I am returning to the blog world. Wait for it....wait for it...."ping!"

SUPERDELUXE NEWS: Mickey and I got a studio to work in. Starting next Tuesday. Check back for more info. Name to come.

Quote of the week: "Big game. Real big game."

Temp: 80 degrees and sunny--hot hot hot

$64 Million Question: When does a memoir become fiction? And where is my mojito?

Blog Express® (8 minutes or less)

2007-11-06T17:53:00.000-08:00

We have..ooh now 6 minutes left until it's time to leave for the day. It's Mickey's last week. This is a big big week everybody. I have only 3 days of Mickey left. Gotta get all my Mickey time in. Let's sum it up. It's been a wild ride.
You know what I'm going to miss most about my surly black haired (read:evil--it's true just go watch any walt disney movie) co-worker? One word. Pookums. The li'l slice of heaven shaped like a shitzu. Yep.

Michelle, my belle....this is what I have to say to you.

"You're beautiful."

Now I'm going to leave and enjoy myself some traffic on the 10. Adieu.

Everyone Needs a Eurotrash Crush

2007-10-05T17:45:00.001-07:00

Yeah, I got one. It's pretty great. Not only can they insult you/talk about you in another language while sounding sexy as hell, but they can say the meanest things to you with their hot hot accents and then smile. Which is a killer combo. Like, "I figured you out. You're mean."
And if they live in Hollywood, well that only elevates how classy they are. When I see a European wearing white loafers holding their arm out to take a picture of Michael Jackson's star with their blackberry, it makes me weak in the knees.
Mickey and I made SUV bumper stickers today. Find out about our newest work on http://somethingagainstfun.blogspot.com/

But do us a favor. Don't look it up on work time. It's unfair to your employer. If everyone surfed the net for a half hour every day....well it would probably cost about $13,000 to the company a year.****

***This fact was materialized by our own boss. It is not true. It has no basis in reality.

Today, In List Form

2007-08-22T14:11:00.000-07:00

1. woke up—aka, graced the world with an outrageous amount of excellence —7am
2. remember how much i like being in bed
3. stand up
4. got back in bed
5. tried to remember my dream from last night, contained a few important ideas in it, like cures for certain diseases, secret code translations, and magic spells
6. couldn't remember dream—ideas lost forever
7. lamented lost ideas
8. joyfully leapt out of bed, excited to go to work*
9. my housekeeper cleaned my room, made me breakfast while i dressed myself in my emilio pucci dress that i stole from amy winehouse(little slut)*
10. got in my bright purple TOYOTA PRIUS with a BOSE STEREO SYSTEM that i plugged my APPLE IPOD into and listened to my fave ITUNES playlist**
11. took my pet luck dragon into the office, where it destroyed all the other dogs in a dog fight, except for pookums
12. existed
14. drank iced coffee

*this is a lie
**this is not only a lie but a blatant advertisement. has everybody sold out when even a blog is all about product placement?
***there is no number 13. 13 is an unlucky number and is only used by wiccans, pagans, and hipsters wearing MOCCASINS.

read michelle's blog at michelleleclerc.blogspot.com

You Can Stop Holding Your Breath

2007-08-16T16:58:00.000-07:00

So, you've heard the news. Or haven't you?

We're opening a print shop. There's really no other option. Overwhelming response is an understatement. Our fans are in a fucking frenzy over our newest poster for Tigersgate Films "He Drives Me Crazy"....so Michelle LeClerc and I are opening Manuels Advertising. The funny thing is that it won't be for advertising. It's silk screening.

Right now our fan base includes Yonni's Coffee and Cha Cha Lounge.

Question of the day: Should mean people be overcharged?

Answers to this and more coming up....don't forget to check back later!

Bright Yellow IS Invisible

2007-07-11T17:50:00.000-07:00

Bright high-liter yellow can't be seen by the naked eye, without careful squinting. That means it's invisible. Simple as that. See? It's hard to read.

Updates: Learned how to cook stuffed peppers today. It's important to learn one new thing every day. Otherwise you're an idiot. Also salad of the day is "Rome Salad" which consists of lettuce, and avocados, without the lettuce. So, where does that fancy international name come from, you wonder? Don't ask me. Ask Mickey Ratt.

Mickey Ratt can be reached at michelleleclerc.blogspot.com

Can I Go Swimming In Your Iced Latte?

2007-07-09T14:50:00.000-07:00

This first blog entry is dedicated to the little asian baby I saw this morning, whose mother put him in a baby car seat ON THE GROUND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET while she searched her double parked SUV for her Louis Vuitton diaper bag and tiny french teacup poodle. Poor baby. I should've stopped and picked it up. That baby and I could be hanging out right now. I wouldn't leave it in the street.
Current feeling: Abandoned
BUT! This is my first blog ever. Let's make it positive. It's sunny today! And I'm drinking an iced coffee! And it's a beautiful summer day!
In other news-Michelle LeClerc and I have just decided on our first collaborative project together. We'll unveil the idea at a much later date.